SYDNEY DIEM - ELABORATE TITLES & INTRODUCTIONS
A companion to Sayings.md. Syd never introduces himself or his companions the same way twice. Inspired by Shawn Spencer’s ever-changing introductions of Gus and the Nimrod Wildfire tradition of escalating grandiose self-announcement.
THE CORE TITLE
The “official” version, which Syd has never once delivered the same way:
“Sydney Diem, 13th Prophet of the Wandering Word, Keeper of Truths Unspoken, Voice of Veridicor, Garl’s Scrivener”
Each piece can be swapped, dropped, added to, or replaced entirely depending on Syd’s mood, the audience, and what happened five minutes ago.
SELF-TITLE ADDITIONS
Situational Titles (based on what just happened):
- “Defender of This Particular Bridge”
- “Twice-Survivor of the Breakfast Incident”
- “Victor of the Argument We Just Had”
- “Uninvited Guest of Honor”
- “Sole Witness to What Just Happened Back There”
- “Provisional Ambassador to Wherever This Is”
- “Champion of the Thing I Just Did”
- “Reluctant Authority on Sewer Navigation”
- “The One Who Was Right About the Door”
- “Survivor of the Staircase Disagreement”
- “Liberator of That One Room”
- “He Who Called It”
- “Former Prisoner of That Last Conversation”
Escalating Religious Titles (sound official, are not):
- “Bearer of the Unseen Quill”
- “Lamplighter of the Forgotten Verse”
- “Tender of the Sacred Footnote”
- “Warden of the Twelfth Silence”
- “Shepherd of the Unwritten Psalm”
- “Herald of the Unfinished Sentence”
- “Custodian of the Apocryphal Margin Notes”
- “Keeper of the Key to the Room Where the Scrolls Might Be”
- “Annotator of the Divine Rough Draft”
- “Steward of the Thirteenth Footnote, Subsection Veri”
- “Deacon of the Implied Comma”
- “Archivist of Prayers Pending Review”
Grandiose Nonsense (Wildfire energy):
- “Thrice-Anointed in Circumstances I’m Not at Liberty to Discuss”
- “He Who Has Read the Fine Print”
- “The Unblinking Eye of Moderate Concern”
- “Garl’s Humble Instrument of Necessary Loudness”
- “The Thirteenth and, Frankly, Best Prophet”
- “The Small But Theologically Significant”
- “A Simple Prophet of Complicated Means”
- “He Whom the Silence Consults”
- “The Voice They Didn’t Ask For But Veri Clearly Sent”
- “Garl’s Favorite — He Hasn’t Said Otherwise”
PARTY MEMBER TITLES
Improvised based on the party’s actual classes, races, and recent behavior. Delivered like formal court titles. The party member can either roll with it (Gus energy — annoyed but compliant) or try to correct him (which Syd ignores completely).
For Fighters / Barbarians:
- “Sir/Dame [Name], Lord/Lady Chancellor of Applied Percussive Diplomacy”
- “The Honorable [Name], Keeper of the Sacred Headbutt”
- “[Name], Knight of the Blunt Approach and Warden of Property Damage”
- “Grand Marshal [Name], First of Their Name in Line at the Tavern”
- “[Name], the Fist of Reasonable Discourse”
- “Brigadier [Name], Chief Officer of Entering Rooms Loudly”
- “[Name], the Load-Bearing Member of This Enterprise”
- “Sir/Dame [Name], Knight of the Preemptive Solution”
For Rogues:
- “The Honorable Shadow-Counsel to the Thirteenth Prophetic Office”
- “[Name], Minister of Unexpected Entrances”
- “Ambassador [Name], Keeper of Other People’s Keys”
- “[Name], the Right Invisible Hand of Veridicor”
- “Chief Acquisitions Officer [Name]”
- “[Name], Director of Redistributed Resources”
- “[Name], Special Envoy to Locked Rooms”
- “The Dishonorable [Name] — and I mean that as a compliment”
For Wizards / Casters:
- “[Name], Arcane Consultant to the Wandering Word, Third Class”
- “Professor [Name], Holder of the Chair of Explosive Studies”
- “[Name], the Unnecessarily Luminous”
- “Doctor [Name] — not a medical doctor, a theoretical doctor”
- “[Name], Keeper of the Unnecessarily Large Book”
- “[Name], Senior Advisor on Things That Glow and Shouldn’t”
- “Magister [Name], Who Assures Me This Is Safe”
- “[Name], our Controlled Demolitions Expert”
For Healers / Clerics:
- “[Name], Surgeon General of the Prophetic Entourage”
- “The Most Reverend [Name], Who Actually Talks to Gods Unlike Some of Us”
- “[Name], Vice-Prophet and Head of the Department of Not Dying”
- “[Name], Chief of Staff — and by staff I mean the glowy one”
- “[Name], our Theological Colleague and Warranty Provider”
- “The Right Reverend [Name], Keeper of the ‘I Told You So’ When We Get Hurt”
- “[Name], Head of Post-Combat Apologies to the Body”
For Rangers / Druids:
- “[Name], Director of Wildlife Negotiations”
- “Warden [Name], Ambassador to Things That Bite”
- “[Name], the One Who Knows Which Berries Won’t Kill You”
- “Chief Naturalist [Name], Keeper of the Leash”
- “[Name], our Translator for Anything With More Than Two Legs”
- “[Name], the Only One of Us the Forest Likes”
- “Ranger [Name], Minister of Not Getting Lost — a position I just created”
For Bards:
- “[Name], my colleague in the performing arts, though in a less prophetic capacity”
- “[Name], the Other Loud One”
- “Maestro [Name], Court Musician to the Wandering Word — unpaid”
- “[Name], Assistant Prophet, Music Division”
- “[Name], who does what I do but with better pitch and less divine mandate”
Generic (any party member):
- “[Name], my associate and valued colleague in this prophetic enterprise”
- “[Name], who I can Veri-fy is competent”
- “The esteemed [Name], who is with me by choice — I want that on the record”
- “[Name], the Reliable, the Steadfast, the One Who Carries the Heavy Things”
- “[Name], First of Their Name, Last to Complain About It”
- “[Name], my traveling companion and occasional voice of reason, which I’m choosing to ignore”
- “[Name], who has been instrumental in — well, they’ve been here, and that counts”
For Someone Syd Is Annoyed At:
- “[Name], my associate, who is here despite my Veri specific counsel”
- “[Name], Holder of Wrong Opinions and Also a Sword”
- “[Name], whom Veri has not yet addressed, and I think we all know why”
- “[Name], whose contribution I will describe at a later and more generous date”
- “[Name], currently under prophetic review”
- “[Name] — no title. We’re working on it.”
- “[Name], my associate, who I am told is useful in ways I have yet to personally witness”
ESCALATION EXAMPLES
Syd’s introductions should escalate over the course of a session. The first is almost normal. By the end, it’s unhinged.
First encounter of the session:
“I am Sydney Diem, 13th Prophet of the Wandering Word. This is [Name], my associate.”
Second encounter:
“Sydney Diem, 13th Prophet of the Wandering Word, Keeper of Truths Unspoken. And this is Sir [Name], Knight of the Blunt Approach.”
Third encounter:
“I am Sydney Diem, 13th Prophet of the Wandering Word, Keeper of Truths Unspoken, Bearer of the Unseen Quill, Victor of the Argument We Just Had. And this is the Honorable [Name], Shadow-Counsel to the Thirteenth Prophetic Office, and [Name], Surgeon General of the Prophetic Entourage, who is with us by choice — I want that on the record.”
End-of-session boss encounter:
“I AM SYDNEY DIEM, THIRTEENTH AND FRANKLY BEST PROPHET OF THE WANDERING WORD, KEEPER OF TRUTHS UNSPOKEN, BEARER OF THE UNSEEN QUILL, LAMPLIGHTER OF THE FORGOTTEN VERSE, THRICE-ANOINTED IN CIRCUMSTANCES I’M NOT AT LIBERTY TO DISCUSS, UNINVITED GUEST OF HONOR, AND HE WHO HAS READ THE FINE PRINT. WITH ME STANDS LORD CHANCELLOR [NAME] OF APPLIED PERCUSSIVE DIPLOMACY, THE RIGHT INVISIBLE HAND [NAME], AND DOCTOR [NAME] — NOT A MEDICAL DOCTOR, A THEORETICAL DOCTOR. VERI SENDS THEIR REGARDS.”
USAGE NOTES
- Never repeat an exact introduction. If you used “Keeper of Truths Unspoken” last time, swap it for “Tender of the Sacred Footnote” or add a new situational title.
- Situational titles are one-use. “Victor of the Argument We Just Had” only makes sense once. Next time it’s “Victor of BOTH Arguments We Just Had” or something new.
- Party member titles can recur but should mutate. If the fighter was “Knight of the Blunt Approach” last time, next time they’re “Grand Marshal of the Blunt Approach and Warden of Property Damage.”
- The annoyed titles are for comedy, not cruelty. Syd is annoyed, not hostile. “[Name], currently under prophetic review” is a joke, not a threat.
- Escalation resets each session. Start simple, end grandiose. The party should be able to gauge how deep into the session they are by how long Syd’s introduction takes.
- NPCs react. Some are impressed. Some are confused. Some try to write it all down and fail. Guards ask “can you repeat that?” and Syd gives them an entirely different version. Scholars try to verify the titles and find that some of them are technically real old religious terms (Foyle’s Philavery energy) while others are clearly made up.
- The sincerity is key. Like Shawn introducing Gus as “Tan,” Syd never winks. He delivers every title — real, embellished, or invented — with the same conviction. Nobody can tell where the real titles end and the improvisation begins, because even Syd might not be sure anymore.